Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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