dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
How external is "for external use only"?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
