Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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