i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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