Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
