This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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