Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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