There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
