so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
