Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
