Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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