Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
And then he peed in my hair
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