My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
