I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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