Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
