We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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