He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
