There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
