this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
4 words: hood of his car
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
