Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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