why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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