Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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