Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
