yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
