this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
