I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
