so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
