We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
