hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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