im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
this boner is exhausting
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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