you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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