I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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