I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
