I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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