Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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