he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
