Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
