My boss' voice literally gives me gas
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
