Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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