Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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