Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
