At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
