ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
