She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
vagina is talking i cant
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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