Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
whose parrot is this?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
