it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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