Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
