Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
