Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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