Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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