I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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