how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
