FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
