Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
