The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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