If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
