she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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